”I learned it at a prayer space”

Matt Nicholl – Bangor

Danielle is a ten-year-old girl who attends one of our local Primary Schools. She is an excellent athlete who loves running and often competes in local 5k races. When she isn’t competing, she is out running with her friends and family, always striving for a new PB. A few months ago when she was out running, on her way to yet another PB, Danielle suddenly stopped mid-run (to the amazement of her parents, who were running with her) and made her way down some steps and onto a local beach. Her parents watched as she walked down to the edge of the water and bent down to pick up some sand. As her mother joined her at the water’s edge, she described that she had seen Danielle simply and repeatedly picking up handfuls of sand, and after holding it for several seconds, she would open her fingers and watch the sand fall through her fingers back onto the beach.

Danielle’s mother wasn’t sure what was going on but was intrigued by her daughter’s actions. Danielle explained that she was picking up the sand and viewing it as all of the things that she was worried and anxious about, and after thinking about them for several seconds, she would open up her hands and watch them, in her words, “just fall away”. Danielle’s mother had no idea that her daughter was feeling anxious and nervous about anything at all, but after some questions, they had a short conversation about the stress and anxiety that Danielle was feeling about her upcoming SEAG (eleven plus exams in Northern Ireland). Danielle was worried about not getting into the school she wanted or not having her friends in her new school, but using sand on a local beach not only helped her process and pray, it created an environment where healthy conversations about being open and upfront with each other and not keeping emotions bottled up could happen.

Whilst I was at the school gates Danielle’s mother approached me and thanked me and our team of volunteers for helping her daughter deal with some of her fear and anxiety. I had no idea what she was talking about until she explained everything I had just shared. Then, for me, came the most amazing part of this story. She told me that when she asked Danielle where she had learned about using the sand and letting go of some of those big emotions her answer was “I learned it at the prayer space”.

Two years prior to this at Danielle’s Primary School, a group of Churches pieced together a prayer space based on dealing with big emotions. At one of those activities, the children were encouraged to pick up some aqua beads and, after holding on to them for a few seconds, to open their fingers and watch as the beads fell through. To take a moment focus their thoughts on the things that bring them fear and anxiety, to focus on things that they feel like they are carrying and then if they want to, let them go. This simple prayer space activity from two years ago had stuck with Danielle. It did not matter if she used aqua beads or sand, if she was in a school hall or on a beach or if she was fearful and anxious about the same things from two years previous, all Danielle knew was “she wanted to feel lighter” and she knew a way of praying that would help.

Danielle’s very simple, but powerful words of “I learned it at the prayer space” highlight to me the joy of running a prayer space in a local school. The things that children learn in these spaces do not just stick with them for the short time they are in the room, but have the potential to make a lasting impact that shape how they engage with the important stuff in their lives.

Prayer spaces give our children and young people the potential to learn new, long-lasting tools and use them for years to come, even 2 years later, on a beach in November with your Mum.